


We're Gonna Be Someday

by julianblackthornspancakes



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic, Disney - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Fluff, I Don't Even Know, I'm so sorry, M/M, Musical, Smut, Soft Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, Why Did I Write This?, Zombies, andrew is a cheerleader, can i put smut in a disney channel original movie au, singing andrew, yes this is an au about the disney channel original movie zombies, zombies au, zombies movie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:41:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26903059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julianblackthornspancakes/pseuds/julianblackthornspancakes
Summary: A retelling of the popular Disney Channel Original Movie (DCOM) ZOMBIES, this fic explores the beloved characters from Nora Sakavic's ALL FOR THE GAME trilogy in a brand-new setting! It's the fic nobody asked for, nobody wanted, and nobody deserved. I am truly sorry.
Relationships: Allison Reynolds/Renee Walker (All For The Game), Jeremy Knox/Jean Moreau, Katelyn/Aaron Minyard, Matt Boyd/Kevin Day, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, Nicky Hemmick/Erik Klose
Comments: 22
Kudos: 23





	1. This is Gonna Be My Year

It was Neil Josten’s first day of school. Today, he would be transferring to Seabrook High School, and he couldn’t be more excited. 

Seabrook had lots of things his Neil’s old school didn’t: prom, a salad bar, properly functioning toilets. 

But best of all, Seabrook High School had an exy team. 

Neil was somewhat of an exy extraordinaire. He’d been playing neighborhood pick-up games since he could walk, and cheering on the Palmetto State Foxes (his favorite college exy team) from the sofa with his father since he could talk. Exy was in his veins, and now he would finally be able to show everyone what he was made of. Tomorrow he would be the first Zombie exy player at Seabrook High.

Oh, yeah.

Neil is a Zombie. Long ago, the Zombie Virus infected half of Seabrook. Zombie Land was created to keep the Uninfected residents safe. Now, the Zombies were required to wear special bracelets that counteracted the more unpleasant side effects of Zombieism (I.e, the unyielding hunger for human flesh). His bracelet was on, and he was ready to go. 

This was going to be his year. 

Across town in the polished suburbs of Seabrook lived Andrew Minyard. Today was also Andrew’s first day at Seabrook High, though he was returning for his junior year, not transferring. He was ready for another year at school with his twin, Andrew; his illegal guardian, Nicky; and his best friend, Kevin.

Mostly, though, he was ready to try out for the Seabrook High cheerleading squad. He’d been a manager freshman year, and a swing his sophomore year, so he was practically already a member of the squad. It didn’t hurt that his cousin, Riko Moriyama - whom everyone referred to as “Bucky” - was the captain of the squad. 

Bucky insisted that Andrew was perfect in every way, but that wasn’t the truth. It was true that Andrew was an excellent student, athlete, and cheerleader, and that he could down Everclear like nobody’s business. But Andrew’s perfect blond hair, the envy of all, was a hoax. It was a wig, purchased by Nicky from the finest wig-craftsmen money could find. It hid his true hair, a mess of scruffy white patches. 

Nobody knew why Andrew had such atrocious hair. Nicky suspected it stemmed from a distant relative who’d been infected with an asymptomatic strain of Zombie Virus, but he refused to take an ancestry test be sure. He didn’t want his DNA on file. 

Andrew slung his pink backpack over his shoulders, stuffed his knives under his armbands, and walked out the door, ready to face the day. Nicky and Aaron followed several paces behind, smiling widely. As Andrew beheld the bustling neighborhood around him, he took a deep breath and smiled. All around, whistling pop music began to play. 

_ “I’m fired up!”  _ Andrew sang, skipping down the stairs. “ _ Tryouts today, I’m gonna blow them away, yeah. Nicky says I can’t go wrong, no, as long as I keep this on,”  _ he continues, patting his wig with a smirk. 

“ _ OH,”  _ sang Aaron and Nicky, ever the dutiful background performers. 

Andrew continued. “ _ Seabrook’s been the best, like, forever. Aaron’s counting on me, no pressure,”  _ he sang, dramatically wiping a pretend bead of sweat from his forehead. “ _ Cheer’s in my family’s genes, come on let’s do this thing.”  _

Across town in ZombieLand, Neil Josten careened into his kitchen at the speed of light and playfully snatched a piece of bread from his toaster. 

“ _ Now, what up everybody? Let me set the scene: a fresh start for ya boi Young Nee!”  _ he sang. He passed the kitchen table, stopping to pick up his backpack and plant a kiss on the forehead of his younger sister, Corneilia. 

“Have a good day at school, son,” said his father, the town butcher. “Fly under the radar, okay? I don’t want anybody making you into a target.” 

“No sweat, Dad. It’ll be fine,” Neil assured him, already halfway out the door. 

“AND NO EXY,” Nathan Josten shouted, rewarded for his parental efforts by the melodic sound of their door slamming. 

Outside, Neil took a moment to take in his own neighborhood. The slums of ZombieLand weren’t much compared to the grandeur of suburban Seabrook, but they’d adopted their own signature style over the years _. _ Copious amounts of metal and other recyclable materials were used to build structures. 

“Neil!” called a familiar voice. He turned, already smiling. Allison Reynolds, his best friend and tech-whiz, now stood beside him, her blond hair pulled back into a tight ponytail. 

“Hey, Ally,” he said, going in for a high-five. 

She accepted and opened her mouth to respond, but was interrupted by the arrival of Neil’s other best friend, Matt. 

“Zigga-Zag!” Matt said. He spoke exclusively in the Olde Zombie tongue. 

“Are you ready?” asked Allison. 

Neil shrugged. “ _ You saw Pops; for a dad, he’s cool. Just a little stressed about my first day of school,”  _ he sang. 

Allison frowned. “He’s right, Neil. Humans will never accept us. This day will probably be a disaster.” 

Neil shook his head and started down the street, singing to himself. “ _ They say, ‘be careful, those humans can be mean.’ But I’m still going out for the exy team!”  _

He gestured to the quaint neighborhood around him. “ _ This may look rough, but it’s home sweet home… just a little bit of dust and a little bit of mold.”  _

“Watch out, Neil,” Allison called as the kids approached the train tracks. Neil was so consumed by his song that he narrowly missed a collision with a speeding locomotive. 

“That was a close one,” he laughed. 

“Zurga Zee,” agreed Matt. 

“ _ But it ain’t so bad on this side of the tracks. We make it work with a little bit of swag _ ,” Neil sang, adding in a hip-swivel to punctuate his point. 

“You almost got hit by a train, you dumbass,” screamed Allison. 

After crossing the train tracks, they could see the school. Approaching at the same time were Andrew, Aaron, and Nicky. 

“ _ On this side we can all keep winning, if we just try to fit in, _ ” sang Andrew, gazing longingly at the bright blue sky overhead. 

Both groups had now reached the school, each one oblivious to the other. Though far apart, they each sang the same song. 

_ “Watch it come together, be the best one ever, because it’s my time! This is gonna be my year. Been waiting for this moment, yeah, I’m gonna own it. You can watch me shine; this is gonna be my year.”  _

The other students joined in. “ _ My year, my year, my, my, my year.”  _

When Neil, Matt, and Allison finally reached the school door, they were herded behind a separate gate by faculty. 

“Zombies have their own entrance,” said a porky man in a Mighty Shrimp t-shirt. “What are your names? I need to file your government paperwork.” 

Neil smiled. “ _ Now, let me introduce you to my friend, Allison.”  _

Allison pumped her fist in the air with passion. “ _ We’ll never be accepted - Zombies need to rise up! Fight the good fight, stand for what’s right. We get the worst jobs and a curfew at night. Why’s it just us being treated this way? I say we need to stick it to their institution. You want justice? We need a revolution!”  _

Neil, sensing Allison’s rising anger, stepped in. “ _ Yeah, you’ve got a point, but today’s an improvement, cause baby steps’ still movement.”  _

He pointed at Matt. “This is Matt.  _ Hey, Matt! Come and spit a verse.”  _

Matt nodded serenely. “ _ A zig zagg gwag gwad ziggy got gon _

_ Ziggity got goat zag ziggy got zong _ ,” he sang. 

Allison pounded Matt on the back encouragingly. “ _ He just dropped that in Zombie.”  _

Neil laughed. “ _ Yeah, all he said is he’s hungry.”  _

On the other side of the fence, a great cheer went up, Andrew looked to see who had arrived, and delight took over his features at the sight of his cousin, Riko/Bucky. The crowd swarmed him, desperate for a photo or a touch. 

_ “My cuz! Bucky’s the man,”  _ he sang. Bucky smiled at him and performed a backflip, 

_ “Look at how perfect he lands,”  _ cooed Aaron and Nicky. 

_ “Our very own cheer rock star,”  _ Andrew sang. 

Bucky, having grown tired of his adoring audience, assaulted a fan. “ _ No more autographs. Please stay where you are.”  _

As the crowd collectively sighed and backed away to avoid bodily harm, Bucky smiled to himself. “ _ Another year and I only get better.”  _ He popped the collar on his Varsity jacket. “ _ Another cheer, another Varsity letter.”  _

He and Andrew shared a fist bump.  _ “This year we just can’t lose.”  _

Bucky checked his reflection in the mirror he carried around with him at all times. “ _ Well, I’m gonna win. Y’all can come, too.”  _

All the students formed single file lines on their respective sides of the fence. They finished up the song in perfect harmony. 

“ _ My year, my year, my year, my year. Watch it come together, be the best one ever because it's my time; this is gonna be my year. Been waiting for this moment, yeah, I'm gonna own it.You can watch me shine; this is gonna be my year. My year, my year, my year, my year. _

_ My, my, my, year, my year my year. This is gonna be my year”  _

The music stopped, and the doors slid open. School had begun. 

A woman in a sharp pantsuit, gloves, and a face mask came to the door on the Zombie side of the fence. 

“Welcome, Zombies,” she said. “We’re happy you’re here.” She did  _ not  _ sound happy they were there. 

“You can follow me,” she continued, not waiting to see if they’d heard before disappearing down the corridor. 

Neil lingered a moment, grasping the edges of his backpack excitedly. He looked back towards ZombieLand, now a whole railroad track away. 

He smiled.  _ “My year, my year, my, my, my year, _ ” he sang before following the group into the building. 

# 


	2. this could be ordinary?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew Minyard prepares for cheerleading practice and meets an unexpected friend. Meanwhile, Neil Josten finds himself dissatisfied with his new learning environment and takes matters into his own hands. Sexual tension? Perhaps. Infringement on Zombie rights? Always. Hotel? Trivago.

Andrew couldn’t concentrate on whatever it was Bucky was saying. His thoughts were a bundle of nerves and excitement about the afternoon’s cheer try-outs that he couldn’t contain. 

He almost toppled over as a rough hand closed around his wrist, jerking him backwards. Bucky had stopped in the middle of the stairwell, clearly frustrated with Andrew. 

Andrew jerked his hand back. He didn’t like being touched without giving permission. “The fuck?” 

“Are you even listening to me?” Bucky demanded. 

“Yes,” Andrew lied, not wanting to agitate the cheer captain on try-out day. 

Bucky squared his jaw. “What was I saying, then?” 

Fuck. Andrew made an unintelligible sound as he scrambled for words. Bucky raised an eyebrow, a challenge. 

“You were talking about what an amazing cheerleader you are,” he guessed. He supposed he had a 50% chance of being right; Bucky was almost always talking about cheer, or himself. Or both. 

Bucky sighed irritably. “No.” He shook his head at Andrew. “I was  _ talking  _ about how gross it is that we have to share our school with zombies.” 

He kept walking, brushing past Andrew with the cousins in tow. Andrew raced to catch up. “What do you mean? They’re the same as us, just a little more prone to brain kinks.” 

“Brain kinks?” Nicky asked. Andrew couldn’t tell if he was intrigued or disbelieving. He sent a prayer up for Nicky’s boyfriend, Erik, in case it was the former. 

Bucky cut him off before Andrew could find out for certain. “Don’t be disgusting, Andy. Of course they’re not like us! They’re  _ dead _ . They’re unintelligent, unwanted, and undeserving of walking these hallowed halls.” 

Andrew had to resist the urge to reach for his knives. He despised being called  _ Andy _ almost as much as he despised his cousin’s intolerance for anything that wasn’t shiny and normal. But it was near impossible to win a fight with Bucky, and today wasn’t the day to try. 

As if sensing Andrew’s discomfort, Bucky continued. “They bit our grandfather,” he snarled. 

Aaron rolled his eyes. “You’ve got to stop telling people that, dude. It wasn’t confirmed, and it wasn’t our grandfather.” 

Bucky looked furious. “You can’t disprove it, either. We’re not allowed to take ancestry tests.” 

“You don’t need an ancestry test to find information about Grandad, dillhole. He’s still alive,” Aaron said. 

“Grandad is senile.” 

“I’m telling him you said that,” Aaron said. Of all the cousins, Aaron despised Bucky the most. He had nothing to gain from peace. So, with a farewell middle-finger in Bucky’s direction, Aaron rounded the corner and disappeared. 

Bucky’s face was unusually blank for a long moment as he processed his anger. Then, as if nothing had happened at all, he plastered on his smile and continued up the stairs. 

“Cheer tryouts today, everyone! Go Mighty Shrimp!” he shouted into the crowd. Cheers went up, and the gaggle of students swept him away. 

After he was gone, Nicky smiled at Andrew. “Have a good first day, son,” he said. 

Andrew smiled. “I’m not your son, and you’ve got too big a criminal record to be my legal guardian,” he said. This was normal banter between the two boys, a way to ease the tension surrounding the cousins’ unusual living situation. 

“Then get out of my house,” called Nicky as he ascended the stairs. Andrew laughed as he watched Nicky disappear. 

He brushed off his denim skinny jeans and smoothed his white polo shirt. With a tug on his backpack, he, too, continued his climb up the stairs. 

He’d almost made it to the second story when he collided with something large and hard. A body crumpled at his feet, and Andrew immediately squatted down to help. 

His victim was a boy about his own age with dark hair and high cheekbones. Green eyes blinked at him. Those sharp cheeks blushed red with humiliation as the boy said, “I’m sorry.” 

Andrew shook his head and helped the boy to his feet. “It’s cool, man. It was just as much my fault. Are you okay?” 

The boy nodded. “Yeah, yeah. You?”   
“I’m good,” said Andrew. “What’s your name.” 

“Kevin,” said the boy. “Kevin Day.” 

Andrew smiled but did not extend a hand. “I’m Andrew Minyard.” 

Kevin’s eyes widened. “Aren’t you a cheerleader?” 

“Not yet,” Andrew admitted. At Kevin’s confused look, he added, “I was a swing last year, but not officially on the squad.” 

Kevin nodded. “That’s still cool. Are you trying out today?” 

Andrew smiled. “That’s the plan. You?” 

“I want to,” admitted Kevin. “I want to be a flier. But….” 

“But what?” 

Kevin sighed. “I just don’t know if I’m good enough.” 

“You are,” Andrew said. “We’ve got this.” 

“I hope so,” Kevin smiled. “I love cheer. Did you know the creator of the wave was from Seabrook?”

“I did,” Andrew said. “It’s so cool.” 

“I know, right.” The boys turned a corner, heading down the science hallway. “Oh!” he exclaimed, pausing at an opened classroom door. “This is me.” 

Andrew examined the name on the door. “Stylinson? Me, too.” 

“Cool,” said Kevin, leading the way into Mr. Stylinson’s classroom. 

_ I haven’t even started my first class and I’ve already made a friend? Maybe this really  _ will  _ be my year _ … 

# 

As Neil sat in his new classroom, located in the gently-used basement of Seabrook High School, he distinctly remembered telling his friends how exciting it would be to  _ not  _ have to learn in a dingy basement anymore. The irony was not lost on him. 

The woman who’d led them down to the basement - Principal Lee - looked uncomfortable. Neil told himself Principal Lee’s discomfort stemmed from a phobia of subterranean space and not a fear of Zombies. “We are just thrilled you all are here,” she said, eyes bouncing uneasily around the room. She smiled tightly. “Do not leave the basement.” With that, she walked briskly to the stairwell and the police officer who stood beside it. 

Neil raised his hand quickly, not bothering to wait until he was called on to speak. “Principal Lee! I was wondering how to try out for the exy team?” 

“Or the computer club?” piped in Allison. 

“Zurga Zee Zah Zoodeedah Zay?” added Matt. 

At Principal Lee’s bewildered expression, Neil added, “Or the music club.” 

The woman smoothed down her already perfect pink pantsuit and gave the teens a stiff smile. “Would any of those activities require leaving the basement?” 

Neil nodded his head. 

“Well, then, I suppose you have your answer.” Before Neil could argue or offer any arguments from the bulleted list floating in his head, Principal Lee was gone, her bubblegum heels  _ clopping  _ as they slapped against the concrete staircase. 

The police officer gave the Zombies a warning once-over before turning to follow Principal Lee, letting the stairwell door slam shut behind her. 

A gruff voice broke the stunned silence. “Yes, she is always that charming.” 

Neil turned to see a man clad in a blue jumpsuit standing at the front of the room. He had the perfect dad-bod, the perfect ratio of pudge to muscle to still be attractive. 

“Hi, there,” the man continued. “I’m Coach Wymack. I’ll be your math teacher, English teacher, history teacher, and science teacher.” He turned, writing his name on the prehistoric blackboard that covered the dingy walls. “I will also be your physical education teacher, theater teacher, band teacher, psychology teacher… basically anything you have to learn, I’ll be teaching it to you. No, I’m not really qualified to be doing so.” He winked. Then, gesturing to his own pale face and green-tinged hair, added, “What else are they gonna do with us Zombies, eh?” 

The class laughed uncomfortably. “I’m also assistant exy coach and janitor extraordinaire,” he added. 

Neil’s ears perked up at that. Maybe Coach Wymack could help him out. He’d ask after class, so as not to give his classmates any ideas. One Zombie was a plausible addition to the exy team, but a whole hoard of Zombies? Forget it. 

Maybe he should just bypass Wymack entirely. Wymack began prattling off a list of safety procedures, eyes focused on the front of the classroom. Neil was still hidden behind a row of standing classmates. For once, his dainty 5’3 build came in handy. Quiet as a mouse, he slunk out the door and into the stairwell beyond. 

Before he knew it, Neil was on the main level of Seabrook High School. His heart hammered against his Zombified chest as he strolled down the linoleum halls. He was so wrapped up in the scenery, so different from any setting he’d ever been a part of, that he slammed his shin into a pipe. 

“Arrrghhh!” he bellowed. Students all around turned to look at him, faces stricken with horror as they realized who had made his way into their midst. 

“ _ ROGUE ZOMBIE!”  _ cried a student. He slammed his weight against the Zombie Alarm, a machine that would alert the school of his presence and sent them into a panic. And saferooms. 

“No,” he tried to explain. “I’m not a rogue Zombie! Just a regular one.” 

The students didn’t seem to be getting the message. Kids darted back and forth, and the hallway was deserted in a matter of seconds. The nearest Zombie Saferoom door slid open, its automated messaging beckoning wayward humans inside. 

Not seeing any other option, Neil slid inside the silver door. The dark space beyond was filled with covered bunk beds and boxes of non-perishables. He ducked behind a box so as not to distress any students who might be seeking shelter. 

For a minute or two, the red flashing lights and the automated messages were the only sights and sounds. Then, another figure pushed his way through the doorway, letting the door fall closed behind him. 

At first, the other boy didn’t see him. Unfortunately, some of the dust floating about the barely-used safe room found its way to Neil’s nose, and he let out a mighty sneeze. 

“Hello?” 

_ Dammit _ , Neil thought. He didn’t want to upset this boy, or send him into a panic. But he also didn’t want to appear rude. Making sure to keep his face obscured in the darkness, Neil rose. 

“Hey,” he said. 

“You alright?” asked the boy. 

Neil nodded. Then, realizing the other boy probably couldn’t see his head, added, “Yep. You?” 

“I’m fine. I’m Andrew, by the way. Andrew Minyard.” 

Neil smiled into the darkness. “Hello, Andrew, Andrew Minyard. I’m Neil, Neil Josten.” 

Andrew let out a small laugh. “It’s nice to meet you.” 

Adrenaline and opportunity collided, and Neil took a moment to drink in Andrew. He was short - shorter than Neil - and blond. He was dressed poshly in cuffed jeans and a white polo, though the black armbands that covered his forearms detracted from the poshness. Muscles corded his arms, giving way to long, slender fingers. 

“Enjoying the view?” Andrew asked, voice dripping with amusement. 

Neil blushed. “Sorry. I don’t usually ogle at hot guys I’ve just met.”  _ I don’t usually refer to them as  _ hot guys  _ to their faces, either. Dumbass. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, JOSTEN!  _ “I guess I’m just…” he trailed off. 

“Yeah?” 

Neil sighed. “Nervous,” he finished. 

“What do you have to be nervous about, Neil Josten?” His eyes were brown, Neil noticed. Brown like whiskey at the bottom of a barrel. 

“Exy tryouts,” he admitted. “I play exy.”  _ Fucking duh.  _

Andrew lifted a brow. “Really? What position?” 

“I’m a striker. Or a backliner, sometimes.” 

Andrew smiled. “Well, I guess we both have big days, Neil Josten.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Cheerleading tryouts,” Andrew said, tilting his head. 

Andrew took a step closer, almost meeting Neil in the shadows. “Good luck to you, Neil Josten. If all goes well, I should be cheering you on from the sidelines.” 

Neil smiled. “That would be nice.” 

All of a sudden, the lights in the safe room snapped on. It didn’t take a full second for Andrew’s eyes to widen with recognition. 

“Zombie!” he yelled before connecting his fist to the underside of Neil’s jaw. 

Neil recoiled, cupping his throbbing chin. It was his turn to startle as he beheld the knives hanging from Andrew’s hands. 

“Shit, man, I come in peace,” he groaned. 

Andrew quickly stowed his knives. “I’m sorry.” He examined Neil, sweeping his eyes over his body. Neil felt himself blush under such close scrutiny. “You’re not exactly what I was expecting.” 

“What? A Zombie?” 

Andrew laughed. “No, no, not that. I thought Zombies were gross and deformed. I didn’t think they’d be handsome.” 

Neil swallowed. “Yeah?” 

Andrew smirked. “Yeah. Now get out of here before you get yourself in any more trouble.” 

Neil nodded and headed for the door. His hand was on the knob as Andrew spoke again. 

“I’ll see you on the field, Neil Josten.” 

Neil only had time to smile at the other boy before he’d disappeared into the hallways. Back in the safety of the basement, he found himself fixated on something other than exy. The brown eyes of Andrew Minyard were burned into the swirling recesses of his mind, and Neil found himself hoping they might never leave. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the love on the last chapter <3 No songs in this chapter, but more will come soon! All characters belong to Nora Sakavic and plot/songs belong to Disney. Stay tuned, lovelies!


	3. fired up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil tries out for the exy team and meets a kindred spirit. Meanwhile, cheer tryouts are in full swing. Andrew + Jazz Hands; need I say more?

Neil was on fire. Well, not literally - that would have disastrous and likely deadly consequences. Zombies were quite flammable. He was figuratively ablaze, nailing every swerve and block his opponents flung his way. His exy racquet felt alive in his hand, like a third arm poised to attack. When tryouts ended, he proudly strode off the field, sweat dripping down his smiling face. 

As he stood beside the other hopeful exy players, waiting for the final results, Neil knew he should feel guilty. He’d deliberately disobeyed Principal Lee to try out. He hadn’t even thought twice about breaking her rule after overhearing tryout info on his way back to the basement. But her rule was stupid, and Neil’s moral compass didn’t apply guilt to stupid rules. 

Coach Paolo, head exy coach at Seabrook High, stalked onto the field. He was a short, stoutly man with a bristly beard. A sweat stain had already made an appearance on his stomach, and he looked about as excited as a cow being milked by Edward Scissorhands. 

Behind him was Coach Wymack. Wymack’s eyes widened in surprise as he recognized Neil. Neil couldn’t tell if Wymack was delighted or despaired by his presence. 

“Nice work out there, kids,” grumbled Coach Paolo. He glanced at the crinkled papers attached to his clip-board. He sighed. “As most of you probably know, the Seabrook Mighty Shrimp have had a rough season.” 

“Seasons,” clarified Wymack. 

Paolo cut his eyes at the Zombie coach. “Mph. Right. Anyways, cheerleading has become our school’s pride and joy. People come to our games to watch Bucky and the other cheerleaders, not the exy. Do you know why that is?” 

A moment of heavy silence passed. Sensing Paolo’s rising annoyance, a brave soul finally spat out, “Because we suck?” 

Wymack let out a laugh he quickly disguised as a cough. Neil smirked. 

Paolo sighed again. “I might have phrased it more delicately, but yes. In recent history, our exy team has been in a state of disrepair. Every year, I pray for an avenging angel of exy to grace my field, but my prayers have been unanswered. I thought this year might be different.” 

The hopefuls waited, hanging onto Paolo’s words with baited breath. 

“I was wrong,” he finished. 

Dread rose in Neil’s stomach. He knew he was good. Better, even, than most of the other kids who’d tried out. But he was a Zombie, and if the coach was making cuts, he knew how this ended. 

“But seeing as nearly every returning player quit, I have no choice but to take all of you.” 

High-fives and cheers went up around Neil. “Yes!” he said. 

Paolo’s head snapped up. He frowned at Neil. “Oh. Except for the Zombies. Sorry.” Like most of the faculty at this school, he didn’t  _ sound  _ sorry. 

“Are you serious?” snapped a voice down the line. It was a girl’s voice Neil didn’t recognize, just out of Neil’s line of vision. 

Paolo glared at the girl. “It’s out of my hands, Miss Walker. And Zombies aren’t even supposed to leave the basement - how did you two even get down here?” 

Everyone was staring at them now, the two Zombies who’d invaded their land. Neil felt his fists clench in irritation.  _ Progress _ , he reminded himself.  _ I’m standing on a  _ real exy field.  _ That’s progress.  _

Coach Paolo blew his whistle. The chord snagged on a roll of his neck fat as it fell back against his chest. “Alright, Mighty Shrimp. Give me three laps and meet me on the goal line for drills. Zombies, Wymack will escort you off campus.” 

Neil watched as everyone else ran off to play the game he loved more than anything in the world. He bent to re-tie his shoes in order to avoid their judgemental glances. 

“This blows,” said a voice behind him. 

Neil’s head shot up. Standing behind him, arms crossed and forehead pinched, was a petite girl with light hair sprinkled with pastel streaks. She’d been the goalie, Neil realized. She’d blocked nearly every shot. 

“Renee Walker,” she said, extending her hand to Neil. 

“Neil Josten,” he said, accepting Renee’s outstretched hand and rising to his feet. 

_ I’ll see you on the field, Neil Josten _ . 

Neil pushed back thoughts of the mysterious Andrew Minyard, as intoxicating as they might be. 

“You’re really good,” she said. “They’re idiots for not picking you.” 

Neil smiled. “Thanks. You’re pretty great, too. That side-block was hella impressive.” 

“Nobody’s said ‘hella’ since 1995,’ laughed Renee. Despite her anger, it was clear to Neil that Renee was a good person. Kindness twinkled in her eyes. 

Grass crunched under the approaching footsteps of Coach Wymack. “Come on, troublemakers,” he said, not unkindly. 

As they climbed the stairs leading out of the exy stadium, the three Zombies meandered in and out of easy conversation. They bonded over a shared love for the Palmetto State Foxes, prattling off statistics and hopes for the coming season. 

“I wish there was a way for us to play,” Neil said, casting a parting glance at the field. 

“Me, too,” sighed Renee. “It felt so nice to block a real exy ball instead of a brick.” 

Wymack’s eyebrows rose in alarm. “A brick?” 

“Desperate times call for desperate measures,” she shrugged. 

Wymack groaned. “I’m going to get in so much trouble for this,” he muttered. He began digging in the massive pockets of his cargo shorts. Finally, he retrieved an ornate brass key dangling from an orange lanyard. He grabbed Neil’s hand and pressed the key into his palm. 

“Don’t make me regret this,” he said. Without another word, the assistant coach turned and strode off into the parking lot. 

Neil stared at his hand in confusion. “What just happened?” 

Renee beamed at him. “Are you dumb? This is a key to the exy stadium!” 

Neil’s brows pulled together. “I know, but what are we supposed to do with it?” 

“Play exy, of course. We can run drills, one-on-one scrimmage. Anything we want. We could meet in the mornings before school - are you in?” 

Neil ran a finger over the key in his hand. He smiled. “I’m in.” 

# 

“Listen up,” said Bucky. He stood at the front of the gym, hands perched on his perfectly-proportioned hips. Andrew took a deep breath. 

“You are here today because you want to be great. You want to be loved. Adored. You want to be a Mighty Shrimp. As you all know, I’m Bucky. Beside me is my assistant captain, Jean. Drink us up, kids. We are perfection.” 

A round of applause circled the auditorium, and Andrew joined in reluctantly. He didn’t feel like cheering for Bucky or Jean, but the last thing he wanted was to upset his cousin. Bucky could hold a grudge like nobody’s business. 

Bucky’s smile quickly twisted into his game-face. “Today’s tryouts are going to be easy,” he said. 

The room collectively exhaled. 

“The hardest thing you’ll have to do is a back-handspring-funky chicken-round-off-mashed-potato-split with a robot-down-powering finish,” he said. 

Kevin gulped. “I understood none of those words.” 

Andrew ignored him, lost in his own focus. He raised his hand. “Coach?” 

Bucky nodded in his direction. “Yes, Minyard?” 

“Is that chicken cajun or shake-n-bake?” 

Bucky smiled. “Well, I’ve never heard of cajun, so do with that what you will.” 

Andrew nodded. Then, turning to Kevin, added, “We’ve got this, man.” 

Kevin just nodded. Bucky and Jean performed an intricate handshake as funky music began to play. 

“ _ Listen up, it’s not so tough, I’ll tell you how it’s done _ ,” Bucky sang, shimmying and bending in time with Jean. 

“ _ There’s really nothing better than to hear you’re number one,”  _ he continued, punctuating his statement with an extended pointer finger. “ _ And I know how to get a crowd right up and on their feet, so if you want them in it, I’ll show you how to get it.”  _ He jumped into a standing split. 

Jean and Bucky cartwheeled into the gaggle of hopeful cheerleaders. They corrected form and lifted legs as they moved around the room. The wannabes joined in. 

_ “Ain’t no mountain we can’t climb, nothing keeps us down. Got that fire in our soul, never count us out. We got one thing on our minds: call it victory. Yeah, that’s where we’re headed, and we know how to get it,”  _ they sang. 

Jean and Bucky returned to their spots at the front of the room and resumed the routine. They kicked and rolled in time. 

_ “We were made for this, there’s nothing we can’t do,”  _ they sang. 

Andrew smiled as he nailed his backflip. “ _ We’re here to stay, we came to play, and win the day cause,”  _ he sang, windmilling his jazz-hands. 

Kevin threw his head back. “ _ We were made for this, didn’t come here to lose. We came to play, we’re here to stay, what’s left to say when we know,”  _ he sang. 

Together, they performed the back-handspring-funky chicken-round-off-mashed-potato-split. “ _ Nothing’s gonna get in our way, no. So get up out of our way, we’re fired up, we’re fired up, we’re fired up. Nothing’s gonna get in our way, no. So get up out of our way, we’re fired up, we’re fired up, we’re fired up.”  _

As they came out of the mashed-potato-split, the boys looked around in horror. Five hopefuls had been ushered off of the floor. The stakes were getting higher. 

Bucky scanned them. “Andrew!” 

_ “Been waiting for this day to come and it was all so clear, _ ” sang Andrew, letting the other kids lift him up. “ _ Since I was a little girl I saw me standing here. _ ” 

Kevin dropped into a split. “ _ And all the times they told me, walk away, I said forget it! I knew where I was headed, and I was gonna get it.”  _

They clapped. “ _ Ain’t no mountain we can’t climb, nothing keeps us down. Got that fire in our soul, never count us out. We got one thing on our minds: call it victory. Yeah, that’s where we’re headed, and we know how to get it. Nothing’s gonna get in our way.”  _

Bucky and Jean cleared eight more people off the floor.  _ “No!”  _

Andrew hoisted Kevin into the air. “ _ Come on let me hear you say, ‘We’re fired up.’”  _

_ “We’re fired up, you’re fired up, we’re fired up _ ,” everyone sang. “ _ Nothing’s gonna get in our way, come on let me hear you say, we’re fired up, you’re fired up, we’re fired up.”  _

Another cheerer fell out of the sky and landed on the floor. Bucky and Jean hovered over her and jutted their thumbs towards the door. 

Bucky righted himself and crossed his arms. “So you guys got moves. But can you get a crowd to worship you like they worship me?” He spread his arms wide, and a banner hanging from the ceiling fell, revealing a stand full of adoring fans. They cheered. 

Kevin paled. “I can’t do this, man. Bucky’s so great. I’m nothing. He’ll never let me be anything.” Before Andrew could stop him, Kevin retreated into the comfort of the stands. 

One by one, Bucky and Jean began pushing contenders in front of the crowd. Some froze and were immediately booed off the floor. Others rose to the occasion, demonstrating their best moves. Finally, it was Andrew’s turn. He took off like a rocket, ready to own his moment. 

“ _ We are the Mighty Shrimp, it’s time to show you now!”  _ he sang, pumping his arms and jumping in rhythm. “ _ We got the stuff to light you up - it’s getting hotter now!”  _ The crowd was on their feet now, bouncing with him. “ _ We’re getting..”  _

“ _ HOTTER NOW,”  _ the crowd roared back at him. 

Andrew smiled wider.  _ “It’s getting _ …” 

“ _ HOTTER NOW!”  _

He backflipped from the stands, spinning mid-air. He landed beside Kevin. Andrew took the other boy’s hand in his own and pulled him into the final line-up. All the remaining hopefuls began to sing once more, giving it all they had. 

“ _ We were made for this, there’s nothing we can’t do, We’re here to stay, we came to play, and win the day cause,”  _ they sang, adding in their fanciest footwork.  _ “We were made for this, didn’t come here to lose. We came to play, we’re here to stay, what’s left to stay when we know!”  _

They clapped and stomped in time. “ _ Nothing’s gonna get in our way, no. So get up out of our way, we’re fired up, we’re fired up, we’re fired up. Nothing’s gonna get in our way, no. So get up out of our way, we’re fired up, we’re fired up, we’re fired up.”  _

As the song ended, Bucky landed from his jump in the center of the formation. Applause rang out. 

“Congratulations, cuz,” he whispered. “Congratulations, all,” he said, louder. Andrew clasped Kevin’s hand and jumped around excitedly. 

“You are officially Mighty Shrimp!”

Andrew couldn’t stop smiling. He was fired up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! And thank you for your sweet comments, you're all so lovely. On an unrelated note, If you're enjoying this story and are seeking unironically excellent children's entertainment, I highly recommend Netflix's Julie and the Phantoms! I'm addicted, and you should be, too. Music in this chapter is from "Fired Up" from the Zombies Original Motion Picture Soundtrack. Characters belong to Nora Sackavic, and plot and music belong to Disney. Love to you all <3


	4. never break the chain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cheer initiation goes horribly wrong.

“Listen up, recruits,” snapped Bucky. Andrew wasn’t sure why his cousin was being so formal - there were only five new cheerleaders. Also , considering all five of them (plus Jean and Jeremy) were piled into the back of Bucky’s van, they could hear him perfectly well. There wasn’t much else to focus on, anyways. The black bulletproof windows made it impossible to see where the van was headed. 

“The sanctity of cheer is being threatened. Zombies now walk under the hallowed ground of our state-of-the-art gymnasium. Change has come,” he said. He wrinkled his nose. “I hate change. The time has come to send a message to those who wish to cause us distress. The time has come to stand for cheer! C-H-E-E-are you ready to protect it?” 

Andrew and Kevin exchanged uncomfortable glances. 

“Of course, Bucky,” said Andrew carefully. “We  _ love  _ cheer.” 

Bucky nodded. “That’s right.” He carefully brought the car to a stop and turned in his seat to face the unnerved fledglings. “Let the cheer initiation begin.” 

With a swift flick of his fingers, Bucky activated the van’s automated doors. Andrew and Kevin quickly scuttled out and waited for further instructions. The other recruits remained seated, pale-faced and patiently waiting for elaboration. Jean, sitting shotgun, carefully passed five cartons of farm-fresh eggs through his window and into Andrew’s waiting hands. 

“The fuck are these for?” Andrew asked. 

Bucky smiles. “Look around, cuz. Where better to send a message than the homeland of your enemy?” 

With a sinking stomach, Andrew glanced around the surrounding neighborhood. They were in the heart of Zombieland. 

The cheer captain pointed to the closest house, a humble rust-colored home decorated with vibrantly-spraypainted bicycle wheels. “Egg that house and you’re on the team.” 

“Can I help you kids?” 

Andrew jumped at the unfamiliar voice. A female zombie stood on the opposite side of the van, peering into Bucky’s window. Her face was pinched in concern. 

“Do you guys need directions?” she asked. 

Bucky’s eyes widened, and he slammed the car into drive. Andrew watched in horror as the van sped around the bend, leaving him and Kevin stranded in unfamiliar territory. 

Panicked, Andrew grabbed Kevin’s wrist and pulled him behind the nearest cluster of garbage bins. The boys squatted in the mud, and Andrew didn’t care about the dirt splattering against his pastel skinny jeans. His heart jackhammered in his chest as he glanced around wildly. He had to find a way to get home. 

“What do we do now?” Kevin whispered. His black hair was sticking up in anxious tufts. 

Before Andrew could answer, a door opened on the stoop above them. Footsteps padded down the stairs, revealing a familiar head of red hair. Neil Josten. 

_ Of all the gin joints in all the world,  _ thought Andrew helplessly. 

“Is everything alright, Abby?” called Neil to the Zombie woman in the road. She was still standing in the street, but where concern had filled her eyes, there was now sadness. 

Abby nodded. “Everything’s fine, honey. There’s just too much hate in this world sometimes. You be careful out there.” With a wary glance at the boys’ hiding spot, Abby returned to her own home across the street. 

“That was weird,” Neil muttered to himself. He shot a cursory glance down the street before shaking his head and turning away. Footsteps retreated up the staircase, and for a moment Andrew thought he was in the clear. The fool even breathed a sigh of relief. Then, the footfalls returned, this time accompanied by the familiar clanking of a garbage bag. 

Andrew only had time to cringe before Neil rounded the steps and reached them. His blue eyes widened in surprise and recognition. He seemed almost pleased to see Andrew lurking in his recyclables. 

Until he noticed the dozen eggs tucked beneath Andrew’s arm. 

Any trace of a smile disappeared. Neil’s eyes became cold as they met Andrew’s. He looked so unlike the bright boy Andrew had met in that bunker. 

It was very fitting, Andrew thought, to be squatting in filth during what was arguably one of his lowest moments. 

The Jostens’ front door squeaked open. “Is there something out there, son?” called a deep, gruff voice. 

Neil tore his eyes away from Andrew. He forced a smile at his father. “No, Dad,” he said. He let the bag fall from his fist. It hit the ground with a crash, but Neil didn’t startle. 

His eyes found Andrew’s again. He was still beautiful. An avenging angel ready to unleash his just wrath upon evildoers. Neil choked on a mirthless laugh. 

“Just a bunch of trash.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you all so much for reading. Sorry there's no song this time, but take heart - an Andreil love ballad looms on the horizon! Title comes from Fleetwood Mac's "The Chain" :)


	5. of all the lies you told, i love you was my favorite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exy practice! Confrontations! Mighty Shrimp! Chapter 5 has it all!   
> Also, can you spot the Legend of Korra reference?   
> I hope you enjoy!   
> (Chapter title from "All the Lies" by the Vamps. You should check it out - they're fantastic)

Andrew blew out an anxious breath as he approached the entrance to Seabrook High School. Human and Zombie students alike were milling about, their separation only adding to Andrew’s growing guilt. The first pep rally of the school year was today, and the stark bursts of school colors were beginning to give him a sensation akin to a very violent headrush. Through the blinding maze of pinks and greens, Andrew spotted the person he’d been seeking. 

Bucky was propped against the fence, happily signing autographs for his adoring fans. 

“ _ WE LOVE YOU, BUCKY!”  _ shouted a group of spirited young ladies. 

Bucky smiled. “I love me, too!” 

Andrew fought the urge to roll his eyes and plastered on a smile. “Hey, cuz,” he said as soon as he was within earshot. 

Bucky examined him. “Hey. How’d it go last night?” 

“That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about.” 

Bucky narrowed his eyes slightly, but he nodded. Andrew was pushing his luck, and he knew it. But Bucky had left him stranded in Zombieland, and he at least owed him this much. 

“What we did - or almost did - last night was wrong. Zombies are students at Seabrook, too, and they don’t deserve to be harassed. No one does.”  _ Especially not them _ . Andrew thought of the ice in Neil Josten’s voice. Ice like that didn’t harden for no reason. This had been going on far longer than Andrew had ever been aware of. 

The cheer captain was silent for a moment. His smile didn’t fade, but it did twist. For perhaps the first time, Andrew saw the Bucky Aaron always talked about. The cruel darling, the venomous snake, the sharpened blade. It sent a shiver down his spine. 

“Zombies distract from what is truly important, cousin: Cheer. Us.  _ Me. _ ” His eyes flashed. “Let’s make one thing clear, ‘kay? I am your Captain. Your leader. Whatever I say goes. The only reason I’m even allowing you to speak to me so freely is because you’re family,” Bucky said. 

Andrew noticed he didn’t say,  _ because you’re family and I love you.  _

He made to back away, but Bucky grabbed his arm. “Understand?” 

Andrew nodded. Bucky’s smile seemed to settle. He reached a hand out and straightened a wayward strand of Andrew’s wig. “Good. We wouldn’t want any trouble.” 

The thinly-veiled threat pinned Andrew in place as Bucky turned and disappeared into the crowd. He knew if he pushed the issue again, he might not even have a use for the wig anymore. 

But he’d always hated the damned thing, anyway. 

# 

“Cheerleaders are awful, guys,” said Neil as he, Matt, and Allison walked into the basement of Seabrook High. 

“I’ve literally been telling you that since the dawn of time,” said Allison. She rolled her eyes. 

“Zurga Zig,” agreed Matt. 

“I know, I know,” Neil groaned. “But I really thought he was different, you know? He didn’t treat me like a Zombie in that bunker.” 

“He tried to punch you,” Allison observed. 

“He was startled!” 

Matt gave him a pointed look. Neil sighed. 

“My point is that I thought he was one of the good ones. His eyes were kind.” Kind and soft and the color of sweet coffee. 

“But you were incorrect, as usual,” said Allison. 

“Aye. Cheerleaders are bad. All of them,” Neil groused. 

He moved to claim his seat. He slung his backpack onto a desk and prepared to sit when Wymack startled him out of his anti-cheerleader revelry. 

“No humans allowed in the basement,” snapped the gruff coach/janitor/teacher. 

Neil turned. His shock was uncontainable as he recognized Andrew Fucking Minyard loitering in the threshold. 

“Sorry, sir. Someone threw up in the cafeteria,” said Andrew. And  _ fuck _ , he looked beautiful. He was a living manifestation of Neil’s wet dreams standing there in tight jeans and an even tighter t-shirt of the palest Seabrook pink. 

Wymack groaned. “Right. I forget sometimes that I’m the janitor, too,” he said to no one in particular. 

As soon as Wymack retreated to the cafeteria, Neil narrowed his eyes at Andrew. He met Andrew’s steely gaze, unprepared for the jolt it sent through his chest. 

“What do you want?” He demanded, crossing his arms in a false display of confidence. 

Andrew swallowed. “I wanted to apologize.” 

Neil stared at him. “What?” 

“I wanted to apologize,” he said again. “For last night. The eggs. It was cheer initiation, not that that excuses anything, but it was all Bucky. He left me and Kevin when your neighbor came out, and we hid like little bitches.” 

Allison snorted. “At least he’s honest.” 

Andrew didn’t look at her. He didn’t look at anything but Neil’s shocked face. “And I know it doesn’t change anything, but I am sorry.” 

And Neil knew that he was. 

Neil couldn’t help the small smile that crept onto his face. “It’s not okay,” he said. “But we forgive you.” 

Andrew nodded. He seemed to relax. “Thank you.” 

Neil extended a hand. An understanding of sorts seemed to have been reached, and it felt appropriate to give the moment a bit of decorum. 

Well, that and he just really wanted to touch Andrew. 

Andrew looked down at Neil’s outstretched hand and then back up into his brilliant blue eyes. Those eyes that had seen the world at its lowest, and still chose to regard it with such openness. He clasped Neil’s hand with his own. It was warm and  _ alive.  _

Everything about Neil Josten made him feel alive. 

“See you at the pep rally?” Andrew asked, even though he knew Zombies would not be allowed to attend. 

Neil smiled. “You bet.” 

He didn’t even try to avert his stare as his eyes followed Andrew out the door and into the labyrinth beyond.

# 

“The hell are you doing up at 6 in the morning?” 

Neil winced as the kitchen lights snapped on to reveal a very ruffled Nathan Josten. 

“Exy practice,” Neil said through a mouth full of Cheerios. 

“At the asscrack of dawn?”

Neil nodded, dropping his spoon back into the bowl of beige oats. “Yeah. Gotta be ready to take on the Fire Ferrets.” He pumped his fist unenthusiastically. 

Nathan’s brows punched together. “At four in the morning?” 

“Training, Dad. It’s very important and necessary, I assure you.” 

Nathan didn’t look convinced, but he nodded. “Alright. Well, you be safe, kiddo. I love you.” 

Neil smiled. “Love you, too.” 

He took another bite of Cheerios as Nathan turned to leave. His dad paused with his hand on the light switch. 

“And son?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I’m proud of you.” 

# 

The Seabrook High Exy Stadium was a state-of-the-art facility. Neil had thought the practice field had been impressive, but it was nothing compared to the polished hardwood floors and shiny plexiglass walls of the actual stadium. Stripes of Seabrook colors - green and pink - lined the floor. An image of Shrimptopher the Mightiest Shrimp, the school's mascot, was erected at half-court. The faint smell of popcorn still lingered; the electric thrum of a screaming crowd still echoed. 

Neil could cry tears of joy. 

He’d arrived at exactly 4:35, but Wymack had still griped about his five minutes of tardiness, much to the amusement of Renee. 

For two hours, he and Renee ran drills and exercises Neil had never heard of, let alone attempted. It was intense, and the lack of muscle memory in his body quickly doused his confidence. He felt akin to a baby giraffe on ice skates. 

Finally, Wymack called practice. 

“Good work, guys. We’ll meet again, same time, tomorrow?” 

Neil’s body shuddered in exhausted protest, but he nodded. He and Renee sat on the bench, chugging water and sweating profusely long after Wymack had changed into his janitorial uniform and gone to work in the main building. 

“That was,” Neil began. 

“Brutal?” 

Neil laughed. “Precisely.” 

“What else did you expect from a former Fox, though?” Renee smiled tiredly. 

He gaped. “Fox?”

Renee gave him a funny look. “Like the Palmetto State Foxes?” 

“Are you serious? Wymack was a Fox?” Neil was floored. 

“How do you think he learned all those fancy drills? He was in the pros.” 

“But he’s a Zombie,” said Neil. 

“Things are different outside of Seabrook, Josten. People don’t care as much in the real world.” 

Neil let that sink in. He’d never given much thought to life outside of Seabrook. How it could be different. 

Maybe this really  _ would  _ be his year. 

#


	6. peppa pig

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Tis pep rally time at Seabrook High! Can you feel the excitement in the air?   
> Pom-poms and alleged arson - what could be better?

Neil didn’t actually know if Zombies were allowed to attend pep rallies. Honestly, he didn’t actually care. Andrew had basically asked him to come, and he wouldn’t want to disappoint Andrew. 

He also wouldn’t want to miss out on a chance to see Andrew in tight pants, flying through the air like a sex pixie. Not that he would mention that to Matt or Allison, who had very graciously agreed to tag along. 

“This is ridiculous,” groused Allison as they climbed the stadium, dodging hoards of bouncing fans. “Why are we here again?” 

“Zigga Zog Zoobee Doobee Zoo,” explained Matt with a shrug. 

Allison huffed a laugh. “I don’t know. I think it has more to do with Andrew’s ass than with his cheerleading skills.” 

Matt laughed. “Zorpa Zi.” 

Neil blushed. “I’m not here to objectify Andrew.” 

They’d finally reached a patch of empty seats on the top row. Allison plopped down, dragging Neil with her. The stench of body odor and buttery popcorn wrapped around them like a noxious embrace. Allison wrinkled her nose. 

“Relax, Neil. Nobody’s accusing you of objectification,” she said. “We’re not blaming you for enjoying the scenery.” 

Neil rolled his eyes but let himself smile. He opened his mouth for another round of sassy banter, but a booming voice echoed from the speakers. 

“Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the first pep rally of the school year, starring Bucky Moriyama, and featuring the Seabrook High Cheer Squad! Today’s rally is sponsored by ExpressVPN. Please enjoy the show!” 

The lights in the gymnasium went out. A cheer went up in the loaded darkness. Neil could feel his heart racing in anticipation. A lot could be said about Bucky Moriyama, but the man did know how to put on a show. 

Suddenly, a single spotlight lit up, illuminating a massive banner of Bucky’s smiling face. A drum beat prattled, and a chorus of faceless voices chanted, “ _ Go! Go! Go Mighty Shrimp!”  _

One by one, the cheer squad emerged from behind the banner, waving their pom-poms rhythmically. Neil’s stomach flipped over when he spotted Andrew, looking absolutely regal in his green and pink uniform. The voices reached a crescendo, and a figure came cannon-balling through Banner-Bucky’s face, managing a mid-air backflip and landing on its feet. 

The figure was none other than Real Bucky, frozen in the same tableau previously held by Banner-Bucky. Needless to say, the crowd lost their fucking minds. 

“ _ BUCKY IS A GOD!”  _

_ “EAT MY ASS, BUCKY!”  _

_ “SET ME ON FIRE, BUCY”  _

_ “BUCKY FOR PRESIDENT!”  _

Neil stifled a laugh at the spluttering of questionable declarations aimed at the cheer captain. Sports fans were weird. All of the comments were much better suited to Andrew, anyway. 

The cheer squad was off, spinning and jumping in time to their spicy hip-hop track. Andrew was shimmying and bouncing - and yes, his ass looked radiant. Neil watched as a black-haired boy hoisted Andrew into the air. When Andrew landed, his eyes locked on Neil’s. He winked. 

“You’re as red as a tomato, Neil,” said Allison. 

In response, Neil became even redder. Allison laughed. 

Suddenly, Matt gave a primal hiss of terror. Neil looked to his friend in alarm. 

“What’s wrong, buddy?” he asked. 

“ _ FIRE,”  _ shouted Matt. It was one of the only words the Zombie knew in English. Matt’s father had been scarred beyond recognition by a mob of human bastards who’d thought it’d be funny to chase a Zombie with a flamethrower. Matt was absolutely terrified - as most Zombies were - of the stuff. 

The cheerleaders had whipped out their spirit sticks, Neil realized. They weren’t particularly dangerous, just glorified sparklers. But to a traumatized Zombie, they were essentially death sticks. 

“It’s okay, buddy,” Neil tried to tell Matt. “You’re okay.” 

But Matt wasn’t convinced. “ _ FIRE _ !” 

He started to run. Neil grabbed his shoulder, but was only slammed onto the metal bench. He landed with a grunt, more alarmed by the  _ beep  _ sounding from his watch than any bodily damage he may have sustained. 

Neil glanced at the screen of his Z-Band.  _ UNSTABLE _ , it read. 

“Fuck.” 

The crowd had noticed Matt’s anguish, too. They’d parted around the Zombies like the Red Sea, screaming as though the shrill scrapes of their vocal cords would accomplish anything. Neil watched, as if in slow motion, as a group of cheerleaders scattered in distress. 

The group of cheerleaders who, moments before, had launched Andrew into the air. 

Andrew, who was split seconds away from cracking his skull open on the unforgiving gym floor. 

Neil’s Zombie instincts overtook him. His veins blackened and his eyes darkened. He was going primal, but he had a target. He launched himself towards the spot where Andrew was plummeting, taking out the panicked Exy team as he did. 

Andrew landed in his arms with a  _ thud _ . The landing jolted his watch, which let out another, happier  _ beep.  _ STABLE _ ,  _ it read. Neil exhaled, unconsciously resting his chin on Andrew’s blond hair. 

“Holy shit,” gasped Andrew. “You saved me.” 

Neil smiled. “I guess I did, Minyard.” He stared into Andrew’s big, brown eyes for a long moment before remembering that he was holding the other boy in his arms, bridal-style, in front of a crowd. He carefully set Andrew on his feet. 

Andrew was about to say something, but was interrupted. 

“Josten,” shouted Paolo. “My office,  _ now _ .” 

# 

“That was quite a display you made just now,” said Coach Paolo. He was pacing in front of Neil, hands on his hips and whistle bouncing against his bloated chest. The  _ thwack  _ it made as it hit the valley between Paolo’s man-boobs was oddly comforting. 

“I’m sorry, Coach,” began Neil. 

“He’s not finished,” snapped Principal Lee. She was seated in the corner, arms crossed. 

Paolo continued. “I mean, you took out my offensive lineup without a second thought. You just barreled through them like that son of a bitch from  _ Mario Kart _ .” 

“Like I said, I’m sorry-” 

“I need you on my team!” 

Neil blinked. “I’m sorry, what?” 

Principal Lee sighed. “He wants you on the team. You’d think from all the brains you Zombies eat, you’d be able to follow simple conversations.” 

“We don’t actually eat brains anymore,” Neil said, unhelpfully. He turned back to the coach. “But I tried out for the team, and you said you’d never let a Zombie play on your field.” 

Paolo rolled his eyes. “That was before I knew you were a fucking X-Man.” His ears reddened. “Pardon my language, Principal Lee.” 

Principal Lee sighed. “I don’t care what you say as long as you win us a championship trophy.” 

“We need you, Josten. What do you say?” 

Neil considered. “I have two conditions.” 

Paolo huffed. “What?” 

“One, you let Renee Walker on the team, too. Two, you integrate Zombies into regular school activities. No more basement,” he said. 

Paolo closed his eyes. “Is that everything, Princess?” 

Neil nodded. His heart was hammering in his chest. “That’s it.” 

“Well, it’s up to Lee about the integration, but Walker’s in,” said Paolo. At Neil’s smile, he added, “But one infraction from either of you, and you’re gone.” 

Neil looked to Principal Lee. “And you?” 

Principal Lee steeled her gaze. “Absolutely not.” 

“But you need me,” Neil said. “Seabrook hasn’t won an Exy game in a decade, but with me and Renee on the team, you might actually have a shot. Think of all those sports-related donations and grants.” 

“I will give you the cafeteria,” Principal Lee bit out. “As a test. Zombies can eat lunch in the cafeteria, and we’ll go from there after you win me that Exy championship.” 

Neil smiled. 

“Deal.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, all! I hope you've enjoyed this chapter. Merry (late) Christmas to those who celebrate, and a happy New Year. I'm sending vibes of love and comfort to you and yours <3   
> We're going to get to that next song soon, I promise. It wasn't mentioned, but I like to imagine that the cheer routine is performed to the Vengaboys hit, "We Like to Party! (The Vengabus) Six Flags." Do with that information what you will.

**Author's Note:**

> Song: "My Year" from the ZOMBIES Original TV Movie Soundtrack  
> I hope this brought you serotonin and a laugh. Please don't take this seriously :) Have a great day!


End file.
